So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
