Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
