I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
