Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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