I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
