Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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