i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
