bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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