Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
