sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She bit a glass in half.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
