Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just cropdusted the office
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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