My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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