I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
