i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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