i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
