What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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