So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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