I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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