I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
