did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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