I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
