Whats the glycemic index on semen?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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