Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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