my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
