Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
cat food counts as protein by the way
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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