dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Randomize
