Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
