yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
