Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
how does that bad decision feel?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
