There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Dear god my vagina.
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