She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
