first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
