Your tits are I can't wait for
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
