You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
