Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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