I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
