Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
