Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
