I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
