You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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