Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
