That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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