Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
