I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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