What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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