google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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