I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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