After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
