I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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