I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
True strength comes from lack of pants
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
